What your father never taught you about relationships: A systemic approach to family violence prevention

Often times our knowledge about relationships comes from watching those close to us, including our parents. Moreover, many people have seen violence in their households and communities and repeat the vicious cycle of violence in their own relationships. As a result of the high prevalence of violent and dysfunctional relationships, many individuals have not learned how to be in a healthy relationship. Consequently, many people have struggled in their intimate relationships and have had difficulty teaching their children how to be in healthy relationships. This program was implemented with over 200 men and women in various community sites. Participants in this program identified the tools necessary to overcome unhealthy messages and learned healthy role modeling strategies about relationships. This program has been successful in helping participants to identify unhealthy messages commonly taught about relationships, including messages about family violence. Participants also discussed the role of the father/parent figure in teaching others, such as their children, about relationships and identified tools to use to enhance their relationship. Participants have expressed that the program has taught them not only how to reflect on their own actions, but to also be aware of how their actions (i.e. violence) influence their children's relationships. As a result of this systemic approach to family violence, participants have been able to change the vicious cycle of violence that has been in their families for many generations. This approach has made a difference and can continue to do so in the lives of many families.